Breaking Negative Life Cycles

Breaking Negative Life Cycles

Alexa says  I’m pretty predictable, and I guess she’s right. I admit it, I’m a creature of habit!

I almost always start my day with loud music while I get ready, followed by a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts for coffee and a chocolate glazed. After every one of my live events, (except during Covid) I have to go out for a late meal (usually to cheesecake factory) , and I always get dessert. Oh, and I also have a hard time passing a shoe store without going in.

I enjoy my routines and rituals. They’re comfortable, and they help me feel like I’m in control of my day. But habits like singing along with Donna Summer in the morning are different from destructive patterns that block you from having the life you want. That’s when being predictable isn’t so good.


Recognizing your Destructive Patterns.

It’s easy to fall into negative behavior patterns without even realizing it – and suddenly you’re asking yourself why you have the same issues over and over again and feeling like the whole world is out to get you.



  • Do your friends roll their eyes every time you tell them you’ve met someone new and swear that this time it’s going to be different?


  • Are you constantly worried about money, but you can’t seem to get a decent paying job or control your spending?


  • Are you always sick and tired, battling one health issue after another?


  • Do you sabotage relationships with friends and co-workers, and you can’t figure out why wherever you go, the same thing keeps happening?


Positive Thinking is Just the Beginning.

They say that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. I’m a big believer in positive thinking and manifesting what you want in life, but I also know that everything isn’t going to go your way all the time and that’s okay. Sometimes life sends you challenges to teach you lessons and make you stronger.

It’s not until you actually recognize what’s going on and make the decision to change course that you break the cycle. These are called learning cycles, and they help you to grow.


Searching for her Father’s Love

I once knew a girl named Amanda who could never find love. Even though she wanted to be in a committed relationship more than anything, she would date men that were not serious about her. She seemed to be a magnet for abusive men who didn’t care about her, until suddenly she saw the pattern, and did some soul searching.

Amanda realized all the men she had dated reminded her of her Dad, who left her when she was young. A lightbulb went on! She realized she was trying to replace the love she hadn’t gotten from her dad with these other unavailable, uncaring men.

The moment she realized what was going on she knew what she had to do. She started listing out what she really wanted in a relationship. She wanted a potential husband, someone who was respectful and loving, and who she could depend on.

She decided to change course and try online dating to find someone new. She was going to avoid her old type and seek out a man who met her new requirements. Guess what? The moment she changed her path, her soulmate appeared.

What Does it Take to Break a Pattern?

To find love, Amanda had to do more than just “think positive.” She had to go through a process, and she couldn’t do it until she admitted she had a problem. The steps she went through can help break any kind of negative pattern whether it involves relationships, money, health, or career.


Five Steps to Breaking Negative Cycles.
  • Recognize the situation for what it is, and don’t sugarcoat it. Amanda kept making excuses for the men in her life and ignoring the warning signs when she met someone new. It wasn’t until she realized she was picking the same type over and over that she was able to address the problem.
  • Realize that the common denominator is you. If the same thing happens with every job you have or every person you date, it’s not just bad luck. In order to break the cycle, you need to change your mindset, and your behavior.
  • Realize the WHY of what’s happening. Amanda finally realized she was looking to replace her father’s love. That insight helped her break the pattern. Everyone’s WHY is different. Someone who was ignored by their parents might create a lot of drama as an adult because they still crave the attention they missed when they were young.
  • Fear is not your friend. I notice a lot of people who are always worried about their health seem to be sick all the time. Fear can attract exactly what you don’t want. When you feed into a fear, you  give it life. Instead focus your energy into positive thoughts.
  • Close out your learning cycle by deciding exactly what you do want. Make a list, create a vision board, post positive affirmations where you can see them often. Focusing your energy in a positive direction will attract a boost from the universe to help get you there!


If you’re not happy with your relationship, your job, your financial situation, your health, or anything else in your life, know that  you have the power to change. There’s no time like the present, because no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

I talk to souls in heaven every day who regret ignoring opportunities to learn lessons and make the changes that would have made their experience on earth better and happier. Looking back, they see the lost opportunity, and realize that they could have broken the negative cycles that kept them from living their best life.

These are just some of the many life lessons and spiritual teachings I have learned from those in spirit. If you have found this helpful, I would like to share with you my new inspirational audio class series. You can start listening right now by Clicking Here. I hope it helps you on your own spiritual journey.


An Unexpected Reading…

An Unexpected Reading…

A Sister’s Love

I have enjoyed seeing others experience readings at various psychic medium events; however, I never expected to have a reading myself. But the day I went to see psychic-medium, Matt Fraser, that all changed.

My sister, Judy, had passed just 11 months prior to this particular event, and I have missed her every day. I was her primary caregiver up until the last 18 days of her life when she was hospitalized, and I’ve never felt right about some things.

I’ve always felt that I should have pushed harder, taken her to different doctors, and done something differently. I’ve felt alone and as if I’d let her down.

My First Reading

He was almost finished and had left the row I was seated in and moved toward the back of the room saying, “I need to come back here because there has been someone here all night.”

He had the back row of guests stand and began to speak to them. Of course, we were all turned around in our chairs to see him. He asked, “Who is cleaning off the grave?”

I didn’t speak at first because I felt he was too far away, and it couldn’t be meant for me. Then he turned around, looked directly at me, made eye contact, and asked again, “Who here has recently been cleaning off or sweeping a grave? I see someone almost frantically doing this.” He had turned and made direct eye contact with me. I felt like someone had slapped me in the back of the head (literally), so I spoke up and told him I had.

The Backstory

This is the backstory – not shared with him or anyone!

Just a few weeks before attending the event, I had a mini-breakdown when I brought an arrangement to the cemetery. There was so much snow and ice that I couldn’t be sure if I was at the right spot. I dug through the snow until my hands bled, broke a snow brush from my car, and finally just stopped. Exhausted and half-hysterical, I went back to the car and called my husband, sobbing.

When I got off the phone, I went to visit our old neighbors for a while, and unbeknownst to me at the time, my husband called my oldest son, who went to the cemetery to finish what I had started. I later returned to find it cleared off and the arrangement placed on top. The only people who knew these details were me, my husband, and my son. We had never spoken of it with anyone.

You Are My Sunshine

Matt looked and pointed at me, saying, “YES! It’s you!” He came back, had our row stand, and went on to say, “Your sister is here for you. She’s been back there all night, just waiting! She wants me to acknowledge that she sends you signs all the time that she is still with you, but that you sometimes doubt them or think it’s just coincidence. She’s telling me to tell you it’s not.”

Fact: I get feathers, coins, and specific songs and phrases all the time that I brush off. At this point, I was shaking like a leaf!

He said, “I feel like there is an important anniversary coming up.”
I acknowledged that the anniversary of my sister’s death was March 2nd – only a few days away.

Then he started gesturing around his abdomen, saying, “there was a misdiagnosis, or it took way too long to get a diagnosis or something, and it was too late for the doctors to do anything. But she wants you to know that she is okay. She’s not angry, and she knows that you did everything you could to help her. Do you understand that?”

All I could do was shake my head.

Then, still gesturing with his hand motioning in a circle around his abdomen, he continued, “There was a growth – a mass or a tumor or something – but it was unusual. Did it grow around something? I feel like it strangled or choked something off, and that is why she died. I feel like she had cancer, but there was something unusual about it.”

I told him that yes, she had pancreatic cancer.

He went on, “But she didn’t die just because of cancer. It was this twisting, choking thing that complicated it. Do you understand that? Does that make any sense to you?”

All I could do was nod. I was a mess! In fact, she had a blood clot caused by cancer that choked off her portal vein.

“He then said, “She was a real fighter, this one, wasn’t she? (Laughing) I sense that she really didn’t want to give up, and even though the doctors and everyone said one thing, she is telling me that she proved them wrong!”

I literally choked out that after they told us she might have three days, she fought for 17 more!

So many of our loved ones had passed in the month of February, and Judy was determined she wasn’t going to be one of them! Matt then came closer to me – I was about to fall over – and held my hand. He kept saying over and over to me, “Your sister wants you to know that she did

not want to leave you and that she loves you and is still here with you. She wants you to know that she is still taking care of you and watching over you.”

Then he let out a small giggle! And he said, “She is singing to me! Well, I don’t know if it’s to me – do you know the song, ‘You are my sunshine’? Is there significance to that, because she is singing it!”

I laughed out loud! I wasn’t surprised. I told him how just a year ago, we all were gathered in her hospital room, and she wanted to sing the old songs like we did when we were younger. And the fact that she chose that one at that particular moment is significant because it is what she always sang to (my son) Jason. Jason was always her special sunshine, and I wasn’t surprised she would want to send him a message, too.

Then he said, “What the hell are you doing?!” And started laughing! He said, “Ok, what’s with the boobs?” And was gesturing like he was pushing up boobs. “Did she have really big boobs or like to make jokes about her boobs or something? She is doing this (gesturing as if he had boobs), and she is laughing!”

OMG! My sister Judy was the most modest person ever! I couldn’t even imagine, so I said no, no, I don’t have any idea what that could all be about.

He took my hand again and got serious, “Listen, she really wants you to hear this. She loves you. She really didn’t want to leave you, and she’s still with you. She wants you to laugh again. She has been waiting in the back of the room all night to tell you because it’s that important.”

This would have been so typical of my sister to stand in the wings to make sure everyone else got to hear from their loved ones first.

Then he finished up, thanked everyone, and was done.

The Two Massive Balloons

I went to see him afterward to get his book signed – because after that, how could I not – and he started laughing and jokingly said, “You’ve got to figure out this boob thing because she’s still here with you, and she just keeps laughing and doing this!” And he was gesturing again.

After I got home, I told my family all about it. We were finishing dinner when my girlfriend that I had attended with messaged to make sure I was alright. She texted, “Gee, have you figured out the boob thing yet?”

And as I was about to type, “No, I don’t have a clue,” I had a very clear image of what it was.

There is a photo of her with my oldest daughter, who at the time was about 6-8 years old. Judy had on a sweater, and under the sweater, she had stuffed two massive balloons. She made the

statement at the time, “When I’m gone, this is how you’ll remember me, and you’ll laugh!” We always laughed over that memory, and every time the picture would surface, she would say the same thing!


I immediately called my daughter to tell her, and even she remembered it along with her Auntie saying that. So needless to say, it was a very emotional evening. I honestly never expected anything to happen, not that I wasn’t hopeful. I will tell you, my heart is in a different place today.

I feel like I’ve been given another incredible gift. I no longer take signs for granted! In fact, I get incredible joy from each and every one, and I know she is still here taking care of me, and one day we will be together again. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy the signs she continues to send.

The Final Message

As I was cleaning out her house after her death, I came across a note addressed to me in her nightstand, seven months after she passed. I had been contemplating getting a different tattoo in her memory when I found it. It had been in the drawer the whole time, but I just had not seen it. Coincidence? I think not!

It read, “God was so good to me you – were here when I needed you most. I didn’t mean to leave you so soon. Know that I loved you dearly and didn’t want to leave you.”

Kind of eerie that Matt spoke those exact same words to me.

I know how blessed I have been, but truthfully, experiencing others on the receiving end of Matt’s gift is incredible, too. Everyone should open their minds and hearts to experience this. It is truly life-changing. There are just so many things that Matt could not possibly have known.

I feel so blessed to have received this gift from Matt, and I will forever be thankful!

If The Dead Can Find Me…

If The Dead Can Find Me…

Jacqui Spiegel had been to many psychics and mediums before she met Matt Fraser, but one day she noticed a psychic medium named Matt Fraser on Twitter and was intrigued. She looked him up on YouTube and became even more interested as she watched his videos.

Jacqui had lost her husband, John, a brilliant physician, a few years earlier. His work was surrounded by sickness and death, but he fought the illness with everything he had when diagnosed with a brain tumor. Over the two years during which he was diagnosed, he endured two brain surgeries. But despite his condition, he was determined to keep things as normal as possible for his family.

In August 2013, the Spiegel family traveled to Washington and had a wonderful time together in the last years of his life. The memories provided comfort when John passed a year later, on August 7th, 2014.

Two years later, Jacqui had her reading with Matt. There was a long waiting list for readings, and Jacqui waited for seven months. When the time came, she asked Matt how he could do a reading over the phone.

Matt reassured her by saying, “If the dead can find me from the afterlife, I can connect with you over the phone!”

Matt immediately felt the presence of Jacqui’s husband and started sharing his impressions.

Matt could tell he was a fighter! He shared John’s message, “I did not want to leave my family. I hated to leave, but I can see my wife is doing a fantastic job – and now I’m able to rest.”

Matt went on to share more personal details.

Jacquie was totally floored by the reading. She said, “It was like my husband was reading my mind and relaying the information to Matt – and Matt was relaying it all back to me.”

Other psychics had shared things with Jacquie too, but she felt that Matt was different, saying, “He is definitely connected to spirit.”

She wanted to know if her husband was at peace and watched over her family. Matt assured her that John was always there looking out for them.

Jacquie had felt the presence of John before – two years after he passed, she and her son, Kyle, had visited his grave. Kyle asked his father for a sign. When they got home, they were shocked to see an image of John’s face on the bathroom wall.

Jacquie wanted to help her son heal, so she asked Matt to do a reading for him too.

Jacquie was in the room and heard the whole reading. She shared what she heard. “Matt touched on so many things that were real. He asked my son if he was a gamer – he’s got all kinds of consoles and stuff. Matt never met my son, but he knew!”

Matt said, “Your dad sees that you’re connecting with your friends all the time.” John told his son that he would be meeting people online.

“What’s with Canada?” Matt asked. John had been from Montreal. Then, “What is this about real estate?”

Kyle couldn’t believe it! Jacquie was in the process of getting her license and going into real estate.

John also knew that Jacquie and Kyle were looking at houses.

Matt added, “He knows that you and your mom are considering a dog, and he thinks you should get two!”

Kyle hadn’t really wanted a reading, but Jacquie knew it would help him feel more connected with his father. After the reading, Kyle thanked her for encouraging him to talk to Matt.

Matt also brought through Jacqui’s mother. And they both had a laugh over what she had to say.

Matt asked, “What’s with Chanel? Well, your mother is in your closet, and she sees all your Chanel bags. Your mother said, “Don’t worry – buy those extra pairs of shoes! Don’t deny yourself!”

Matt explained, “A soul has never said this to me before. She trusts you. Your mother is telling me that my daughter is no dope. She knows what she’s doing.”

Jacquie was thrilled by what Matt had to say next, “Your mother was like a spitfire on Earth, and she’s lining people up. You’ve got a whole army of people waiting to talk to you.”

Her father was there, too. Although he had always worked hard to take care of his family, he had never told Jacquie that he loved her. Matt had a special message, “Your father never said the words, but you’re in his heart. He wants you to know he loves you.”

After Matt read Jacquie and Kyle on the phone, Jacquie attended two of his live events. Matt signed a book, and she met his family. Jacquie truly felt that she had experienced Matt’s gift in all ways.

Matt told Jacquie that she also had a high connection to spirit.

One thing Jacquie knows for sure is that she’ll see Matt again – she can’t wait until he comes to New York!

A Mother’s Love

A Mother’s Love

A Grieving Mother Gets Some Long-Awaited Answers

Tamie had never visited a medium or had a psychic reading. Her only exposure to mediumship had been watching a few television shows, which is why it came as a surprise when one day while working on her computer, psychic medium, Matt Fraser, caught her eye.

Something about the idea of a medium holding an event over Zoom intrigued her. Before she knew it, she was on Matt’s website, purchasing a ticket. If nothing else, she told herself, this would be an interesting way to spend the afternoon. But in the back of her mind, Tamie had two questions she desperately wanted answers to – and only someone with the ability to speak to the dead could help her.

Before the event began, Tamie thought about how she could best position herself to catch Matt’s attention. She knew the attendees would be visible on video, so she made sure she set up her desk and background to look neat and appealing. One of her two daughters came into the room, and Tamie invited her to stay for the event.

Tamie logged onto the call and watched as Matt Fraser introduced himself and explained how he worked. It didn’t take long before he was picking out people and giving them messages from loved ones in Heaven.

It reminded her of long ago, and her memories began to swarm around in her head.

Twelve years previously, Tamie had lost her son, Mitchell, who had died at the age of 22. After all those years, she still had questions in her mind about the circumstances surrounding her son’s death.

Life on the Road

As a child, life had been difficult for Mitchell. Tamie had married young and separated from her husband while pregnant with Mitchell. She eventually

remarried and had two other children. Despite her earnest efforts to create one happy family, Mitchell was always aware of being the stepchild and felt that he didn’t belong. As he got older, he started spending time with a rough group of teenagers. When he started bringing them home while Tamie was working, she feared for her younger daughters’ well-being and safety.

Mitchell and his mother fought about following the rules she had set down for the children’s safety, and at 18, he left home to make it on his own. He spent some time staying with friends and relatives and eventually left to live on the road, traveling around the country by hopping trains and earning money by making up songs about passersby’s and playing his guitar.

The last time Tamie saw Mitchell, he had been homeless for about a year. He was hitching a ride on a train and found himself riding past where his mother lived. He hopped off the train to surprise her. She was thrilled to see him. When he was there, Tamie begged him to stop his rambling lifestyle. Mitchell refused and assured her that he was happy on the road, telling his mom that someday he would settle down – but not now.

“I make up songs, play my guitar for people, make enough money for the people with me, and we all eat together. I enjoy my life!”

Then he said something that chilled Tamie. “I want you to know that If I die riding these trains, then I die doing what I loved.” Tamie cried as he said these words because she felt so scared for his safety and tried to persuade him to stay. She knew in her heart something tragic would happen.

Tamie’s last memory of Mitchell was of him walking away toward the train tracks with his guitar on his back.

A Tragic Accident?

A few months later, the Sheriff got hold of Tamie’s father. He was told of the terrible news that Mitchell had died. Another homeless friend who was riding the train with him woke up and realized Mitchell wasn’t there. Before they had fallen asleep on the train, the two had been fighting and drinking. He called the police and they found Mitchell’s body two miles back on the side of the tracks.

The police were suspicious and held the caller, Tom, for questioning. There was no evidence of what had really happened – and no witnesses. Despite many unanswered questions, the police closed the case, ruling it an accidental fall.

Tamie was left wondering, “Did Mitchell fall or was he pushed? Was he terrified and aware that he was about to die?”

Matt Fraser Answers Tamie’s Burning Question

As Tamie watched Matt work with others on the video meeting, he suddenly turned his attention toward her.

He mentioned a woman, and Tamie’s grandmother popped into her head. “She’s bringing a child who has passed. Did you lose a child?”

Tamie told Matt, “Yes, I did.” He said, “A son?” She replied, “Yes, his name is Mitchell.”

“I feel there was something with the head. Did he fall?” asked Matt. “Yes, he fell from a train.”

Matt could tell that Tamie was crushed just speaking of the tragedy, and she still had some lingering questions about the incident – and he had the answers.

“Your son wants to tell you this. He wants me to convince his mother that what happened was just an unfortunate accident. He had been drinking and having fun on the train until he lost his footing and fell. No one else was to blame.”

Then Matt said something that surprised his mother. “You need to understand that your son is taking responsibility for his actions.”

This resonated with Tamie. “I always taught him to take responsibility for his actions – to own his choices. We had many talks about this topic.”

Matt went on to share that Mitchell appreciated how his mom had always looked out for him, and he knew how much she loved him. His wish was for his mother and his sisters to start to let go and find joy in life again. He knew his mother didn’t want to celebrate holidays because she missed him so much, but he wanted his family to find happiness and joy together. He begged his mother to let go of her guilt and grief and assured both his mother and his sisters that he is with them every day.

Matt knew that Tamie was receiving signs from Mitchell when she asked about her lamp and how it would go on and off for no reason at all. She said, “It seems to happen whenever I am thinking or talking about him.”

Matt shared this final message from Mitchell, “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry. I didn’t feel anything – one minute I was falling, and the next minute I was in Heaven. I want you to know that I’m here.”

Finally, Matt told Tamie, “You need to understand that you were the best mother you could be.”

After the reading, Tamie shared how these words were so precious to her. “It didn’t matter if anyone else in the world believed it. It was a gift Matt gave me. I think it’s wonderful if this story helps other parents who have lost a child.”

Beginning to Heal

Like many parents who have lost a child, Tamie had been tortured with guilt, regret and questions for the first few years. She couldn’t sleep or eat. “Your brain doesn’t shut off – you keep wondering what you could have done differently.”

Then as the years passed, Tamie was just stuck – her life was good, but at times the grief and heartache were overwhelming. She felt alone, sad and stuck. It felt like she was walking through mud, feeling like she just had to accept that she would never find the answers to her questions.

After the reading with Matt, Tamie was in shock for a while. She realized she had been second-guessing and blaming herself to the point that she wasn’t really living.

When Matt relayed Mitchell’s message, Tamie replied, “It feels like I am no longer stuck in the mud.” She realized she had the answers that had haunted her thoughts for all these years. She needed to live her life, knowing that he hadn’t suffered in the fall and that it WAS just an accident. Her son was in Heaven wishing her and his sisters’ happiness – and sending them love.

Questioning A Loved Ones Passing

Questioning A Loved Ones Passing

Have you ever lost a loved one and questioned what really happened to them? 

People book readings with me for lots of reasons. Usually it’s because they miss their departed loved one like crazy and need to talk to them one last time and make sure they’re okay,  but there are times when people are looking for more from a reading. Sometimes there’s a mystery associated with the death that leaves everyone who knew the person wondering what really happened. When there are questions around someone’s passing, it can make the loss even harder on those who are left behind.

Many times, I’ve been able to give closure and peace by answering questions like:

  • Was my loved one’s death an accident or a suicide?
  • If it was a suicide, did they regret their decision before they died?
  • Did something I said or did cause their death?
  • Was there anything I could have done to prevent the tragedy?
  • Did the incident really happen the way the police or witnesses said it did?
  • Is someone hiding an important detail of what happened?
  • Was my loved one murdered?

Losing someone you care about is painful enough without having to deal with lingering uncertainty and guilt. On the other hand, knowing what really happened makes it possible to start to let go of your grief and sadness so you can begin to heal.

Was it an Accident or Murder? 

I’m not a psychic detective, but from time to time I’ve used my gift to solve mysteries. I have to tell you – these have been some of my most gratifying readings.

When your loved ones come through during a reading, they come through for a reason. They want to

I recently had a mother and daughter attend one of my group online readings. The moment Tami and her daughter appeared on screen, her Son in spirit was standing right there behind them. The mother was struggling with the loss of her son, who had died as the result of a tragic accident. She had some doubts about what had really happened. She had been told he had fallen off a train, but she had a nagging suspicion that he may have been pushed. Her son came through and wanted me to convince his mother that the whole thing had been an unfortunate accident. He had been drinking and having fun on the train until he tried to jump the cars, lost his footing, and fell. No one else was to blame.

He let his mother know that he appreciated how she had always looked out for him, and he knew how much she loved him. His wish was for his mother and his sisters to start to let go – and to find joy in life again. He knew his mother didn’t even want to celebrate holidays because she missed him so much, but he wanted his family to find happiness and joy together. He begged his mother to let go of her guilt and grief, and assured both his mother and his sister that he is with them every day.

He shared this final message “I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I didn’t feel anything, one minute I was falling, and the next minute I was in Heaven. I want you to know that I’m here.”

Cherish Every Minute.

It’s natural to want to make sense of a horrible tragedy, but sometimes the worst things just happen and there’s no logical reason at all. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot from souls who have passed. They’ve shown me how unpredictable life is, and how you have to cherish every minute. They’ve shared their regrets at not taking the advice of people who loved them. They always ask me to let their loved ones know that, regardless of what happened – they are always there.

Watch The Full Reading Here: 

Attend An Online Reading With Me.

If you have some loose ends and lingering doubts about someone who has passed, I’d love to help you get some answers. Go to my website and explore the options. You can book a private session with me, or  attend an online group reading.