Alexa says  I’m pretty predictable, and I guess she’s right. I admit it, I’m a creature of habit!I almost always start my day with loud music while I get ready, followed by a quick trip to Dunkin’ donuts for coffee and a chocolate glazed. After every one of my live events, (except during Covid) I have to go out for a late meal (usually to cheesecake factory) , and I always get dessert. Oh, and I also have a hard time passing a shoe store without going in.

I enjoy my routines and rituals. They’re comfortable, and they help me feel like I’m in control of my day. But habits like singing along with Donna Summer in the morning are different from destructive patterns that block you from having the life you want. That’s when being predictable isn’t so good.


Recognizing your Destructive Patterns.

It’s easy to fall into negative behavior patterns without even realizing it – and suddenly you’re asking yourself why you have the same issues over and over again and feeling like the whole world is out to get you.



  • Do your friends roll their eyes every time you tell them you’ve met someone new and swear that this time it’s going to be different?


  • Are you constantly worried about money, but you can’t seem to get a decent paying job or control your spending?


  • Are you always sick and tired, battling one health issue after another?


  • Do you sabotage relationships with friends and co-workers, and you can’t figure out why wherever you go, the same thing keeps happening?


Positive Thinking is Just the Beginning.

They say that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. I’m a big believer in positive thinking and manifesting what you want in life, but I also know that everything isn’t going to go your way all the time and that’s okay. Sometimes life sends you challenges to teach you lessons and make you stronger.

It’s not until you actually recognize what’s going on and make the decision to change course that you break the cycle. These are called learning cycles, and they help you to grow.


Searching for her Father’s Love

I once knew a girl named Amanda who could never find love. Even though she wanted to be in a committed relationship more than anything, she would date men that were not serious about her. She seemed to be a magnet for abusive men who didn’t care about her, until suddenly she saw the pattern, and did some soul searching.

Amanda realized all the men she had dated reminded her of her Dad, who left her when she was young. A lightbulb went on! She realized she was trying to replace the love she hadn’t gotten from her dad with these other unavailable, uncaring men.

The moment she realized what was going on she knew what she had to do. She started listing out what she really wanted in a relationship. She wanted a potential husband, someone who was respectful and loving, and who she could depend on.

She decided to change course and try online dating to find someone new. She was going to avoid her old type and seek out a man who met her new requirements. Guess what? The moment she changed her path, her soulmate appeared.

What Does it Take to Break a Pattern?

To find love, Amanda had to do more than just “think positive.” She had to go through a process, and she couldn’t do it until she admitted she had a problem. The steps she went through can help break any kind of negative pattern whether it involves relationships, money, health, or career.


Five Steps to Breaking Negative Cycles.
  • Recognize the situation for what it is, and don’t sugarcoat it. Amanda kept making excuses for the men in her life and ignoring the warning signs when she met someone new. It wasn’t until she realized she was picking the same type over and over that she was able to address the problem.
  • Realize that the common denominator is you. If the same thing happens with every job you have or every person you date, it’s not just bad luck. In order to break the cycle, you need to change your mindset, and your behavior.
  • Realize the WHY of what’s happening. Amanda finally realized she was looking to replace her father’s love. That insight helped her break the pattern. Everyone’s WHY is different. Someone who was ignored by their parents might create a lot of drama as an adult because they still crave the attention they missed when they were young.
  • Fear is not your friend. I notice a lot of people who are always worried about their health seem to be sick all the time. Fear can attract exactly what you don’t want. When you feed into a fear, you  give it life. Instead focus your energy into positive thoughts.
  • Close out your learning cycle by deciding exactly what you do want. Make a list, create a vision board, post positive affirmations where you can see them often. Focusing your energy in a positive direction will attract a boost from the universe to help get you there!


If you’re not happy with your relationship, your job, your financial situation, your health, or anything else in your life, know that  you have the power to change. There’s no time like the present, because no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

I talk to souls in heaven every day who regret ignoring opportunities to learn lessons and make the changes that would have made their experience on earth better and happier. Looking back, they see the lost opportunity, and realize that they could have broken the negative cycles that kept them from living their best life.

These are just some of the many life lessons and spiritual teachings I have learned from those in spirit. If you have found this helpful, I would like to share with you my new inspirational audio class series. You can start listening right now by Clicking Here. I hope it helps you on your own spiritual journey.