The death of a loved one is never easy, and for many people the pain is intensified by guilt. It’s easy to look back when everything is over and realize you could have done better. It’s normal to have regrets – you wish you’d spent more time with them when they were alive; you weren’t with them when they passed over; you said something hurtful and never apologized – but remember, no relationship is perfect, and beating yourself up over something that can’t be changed isn’t healthy.
You Can’t Turn Back Time
I recently did a reading for a woman who had lost her brother to suicide. The moment I tuned into her energy I could feel her tremendous pain. She and her brother had a close relationship, and she had been aware of the emotional struggles he was going through and knew of his suicidal thoughts.
She had always done the best she could to support him. She would call him every day to check up on him and ask him how he felt. She constantly reassured him that she was there for him and loved him.
The night before his passing, she called him and right away sensed something was different. She asked him repeatedly if he was okay and he reassured her that he was fine. She kept her phone on that night and had it under her pillow in case he needed her. Unfortunately, the only call that came was to let her know that he had passed away.
Ever since that day she had been weighed down with grief and regret. She replayed the night over and over, imagining different scenarios where she rushed over, broke down the door, and saved him. She was drowning in guilt and emotional pain.
When her brother came through during our reading, his message was filled with love and healing words. He told her he appreciated her always being there for him, and that their relationship had been one of the best things in his life. He assured her that the suicide was not her fault, and that there was nothing she could have done to stop him.
Finally, he told her that he was happy in Heaven, and urged her to forgive herself so that she could heal and be happy too.
Allowing Yourself to Heal
One unfortunate reality of life is that you can’t control everything and everyone. The woman who lost her brother might have stopped him that night, only to lose him to suicide another day. People have free will, their own lessons to learn, and choices that only they can make. When someone passes, you can’t turn back the clock and bring them back for good, but there are ways to replace your grief and regret with loving memories.
Here are some techniques that can help:
1) Start by remembering the good times. Grief is funny. It blocks out all the happy memories and only leaves us with pain. Don’t let the good memories be lost. Think of the person when they were enjoying life, happy and healthy. Remember the experiences you shared, holidays, trips, inside jokes. Train yourself to replace the sad, regretful thoughts with memories that make you smile.
2) Look back on old photos. See the person when they were happy and vibrant. If you can, get a photo album or browse a social media page where there are pictures you haven’t seen before. Images of your loved one during family gatherings, celebrations, and vacations will help you remember them at their best – and keep them alive in your heart.
3) Talk about it. Sometimes people avoid bringing up the name of someone who has passed over. Do your best to break through that barrier and share a happy memory. Encourage other friends or family members to relay their own stories about the departed. If you’re not ready to talk to family members or mutual friends of the deceased, consider a support group. Talking to others who have been through the same thing might be hard at first, but hearing what they have to say will help you
When I speak to the dead, one thing always comes through. They don’t want their death to hold you back. Guilt can prevent you from moving on with your life. Give yourself permission to be happy again and let go of the guilt and regret you’re holding on to.
f you would like to join me for an online group reading, you can sign up for one here. To make it even more special your family can attend with you and all you need is one ticket. Just make sure they are sitting with you on camera.
It doesn’t matter where you live and you don’t need any fancy technology. All you need is a tablet, computer or a smartphone to be able to join.
I believe, the more that you learn about Heaven, the more that you learn that your loved ones are not far away. That’s exactly why I want to share my gift with you.
I hope that by attending an event with me, you’ll feel closer than ever to the people you love. I hope it helps you to open yourself up to sensing and feeling spirit and tuning into their special loving vibration!
I hope to see your face, and the faces of your loved ones in Heaven, on my computer screen during my next online event!