When someone you love dies, it can be a long time until life feels normal again.The absence of a family member or beloved friend can cast a shadow on family gatherings and special events for years and years to come.
Now, as the holidays approach, you might find yourself feeling conflicted or even guilty at the thought of celebrating because Grandpa or Mom are no longer around to share the experience. You might wonder what your loved one is feeling as they look down from Heaven and see you decorating your home and planning parties – or what they might think if you choose to sit out the holidays entirely.
It probably won’t surprise you that I get lots of questions about this topic every year around this time! People struggle with a sense of guilt and loss, while also knowing in their hearts that life must go on. It’s especially hard when there are children in the family who might not fully understand your sadness, and are eagerly anticipating their favorite holiday traditions.
Based on years of communicating with Souls in Heaven, I have plenty of insight on this topic, so to help you navigate the holidays after the loss of a loved one, I’ve put together some answers to commonly asked questions:
Q – Does my loved one know how much I miss them?
A – Yes! Souls in heaven can see you crying, and they know how sad you are that they’re not around. That’s why they work so hard to send you signs, or communicate with you through a medium. They want you to know that they’re always with you – even if you can’t interact with them in the same way you did when they were alive. It’s important to know that they are not in pain and they’re not suffering, and they don’t want you to either. Which leads to our next question…
Q- Should I feel guilty about celebrating the Holidays when they can’t be there?
A- No, No, No! I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve relayed from Souls who beg their family members not to feel bad about being happy and celebrating special occasions. Countless times they’ve let me know how much joy it brings them to see their loved ones enjoying the same rituals and traditions they participated in when they were alive and they especially appreciate when you remember them by telling stories or making their favorite holiday dish
Q- Is there a timeframe that I need to stick to when it comes to mourning?
A- Your family, church, or culture might have traditional time frames or “rules” when it comes to mourning, but trust me, your loved one isn’t judging you. Grief is a very personal thing, and while there are stages that everyone goes through, you can’t measure them on a calendar. You might feel happy one day, and devastated with loss the next. Take care of yourself, and keep your loved ones in your thoughts. Remember that they are drawn to happiness and laughter, and while it will take time for your heart to heal, you’ll feel closer to them if you celebrate their memory and the good times you shared.
Q- How can I enjoy the season when my heart is broken?
A- That’s a hard question. I can tell you over and over that your loved one in Heaven wants you to be happy, but that’s easier said than done when you’re grieving and missing that person’s presence every day! Be kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to share your feelings with the people you love. They’re probably struggling with their own sense of loss, and you might find yourself going from tears over how much you miss Mom, to laughter as you all compare funny, happy memories. If that happens, know that Mom is watching over you and laughing along with you.
Q- What’s the best way to honor my loved one’s memory during this time?
A- It’s so common during a reading that a Soul will urge their family members to celebrate the holidays or enjoy their birthday because that allows them to enjoy the experience from Heaven. I remember once, a woman’s husband came through in a reading and told his wife to PLEASE decorate the house and go ice-skating with the kids because he loved seeing them enjoying themselves so much! When you are having fun and creating meaningful moments, your loved ones are right there and with you. They continue to see and experience life through YOU – so don’t hesitate to enjoy every day to the fullest. You’ll be happier and dearly departed will thank you for it!
As you shop for gifts, cook holiday meals, and attend family gatherings, you might find yourself longing to connect with a loved one in Heaven. In fact, getting a message might be the best gift you could imagine! I can help with that too. Check out my website and join me at an in-person or online reading event. You’ll leave with a renewed faith that your loved one will always be around, during the holidays and all year round, watching over you and sending you love.