When we lose a loved one, it is said that grief comes in waves. Some days the waves are small and gentle, and other days, they can be powerful tsunamis of feeling. Times of transition can bring especially powerful feelings of loss and grief. Have you ever heard the saying that sharing grief cuts it in half? During times of transition, reaching out to our loved ones who have passed, can help cut the grief in half because we are sharing those times with them.
Many people focus on weddings and big events and think those are going to be the hardest times when they’ll miss their loved ones the most. But often it is the feelings that come with the smaller events that hit us hardest. Sometimes those are the ones we are not prepared for.
In the fall, the start of a new school year is very hard for families who have recently lost someone. “My mother used to walk my son to school every day. I can’t bear the idea that she’s not here to walk him to school anymore.” I hear things like that a lot. Social media has a way of reminding us where we were five years ago or two years ago, and if those reminders come with a picture of someone who is no longer here sharing a special event, that can be very painful.
There are ways to help ease that pain by including loved ones in Heaven in your special times. If your mom used to walk to school with your child, find something special to serve as a symbol or reminder of her -a favorite photo or trinket. You can put it on your child’s backpack or inside a pocket as a reminder that your mom is still there. When the school celebrates grandparents day, take a picture of grandma and encourage your child to tell stories of wonderful memories with their beloved grandparent.
Your loved ones want to connect with you during transitions. These times that are special for you are special for them too. A woman wrote to me recently to tell me about her son starting university this fall. “His grandfather would be so proud of him,” she told me. “My son is the first grandchild, and my father loved him so much.” Her son had been accepted to a prestigious university and was waiting for his dorm room assignment. “My son was so worried he would get a room with three roommates,” she told me. “He is introverted, and he likes to have space to himself to compose music and solve complicated equations. I was worried about how he would handle having roommates.” On her father’s birthday, the whole family was feeling sad, missing the man they all loved. That afternoon, her son got an email telling him he had been assigned a single room. No roommates. “We were so happy,” she said. “I told my son, that’s your grandfather’s doing. He made that happen for you.” She realized her father was with them all, and their grief was cut in half.
Big shifts in our lives, transitions, special events, new beginnings are often the times when our loved ones send the strongest signals. Just as they want to help us cope in the difficult times, our loved ones want to be with us to celebrate our joy. When you are facing a transition, and someone is missing, bring that person into the mix with a picture, a special object, a piece of clothing or even a ritual that reminds you, and reminds them, that you know they are always with you.
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Yes, they ALL are ALWAYS with me!
YOU ARE AMAZING MATT.
God Blessed you!
I miss my son terribly and struggle most days. This post indeed helped me. I do include my son and it does ease my pain.
I love ready them Matt. They really help me.
Thank you for sharing.
I lost my best friend of twenty-seven years on Sept. 16, 2018
I have been waiting for a sign from him, but nothing yet.
I just want to know if he’s ok and if he has a message for me.
Joann, be patient. I lost my husband a year ago. It was seven months before I received my first recognizable sign from him. Our loved ones in Spirit give us what we need – not what we want. I will be at Matt’s reading in 3 days and hope what I need is what I want.
I so want to get to one of your readings. I check all the time to see when you will be around where I live. One of these days I will make one. I need a driver.
I lost my husband 9 years and 8 months I miss him every day I still talk to him everyday but if he is sending me a sign I can’t understand them
My mother who passed on August 14, 2018 passed away not from sickness but from missing my father so much. I need to Know if they are once again together. This is so important to me, I really need to know.
Thank you Matt, you have no idea how much those words helped
My sons birthday was October 14. He passed on May 8 2017. Yesterday was such a hard day. What I wouldn’t give ?
I lost my precious daughter katie 8 months ago and it’s been a struggle living life without her I miss her everyday!! I do dream about her and know she is with me in spirit!!
Reading your comment I felt like I wrote it. I lost my daughter 7 mons ago and it’s really a struggle and I don’t know how I’m going to live without her. I find dimes in places I know she left for me…
I lost my mom June 5th 2018 I miss her everyday. I am spiritually open and have received her messages and was told by a lady who connects with the other side she would send me messages by moving things and leaving pennies, this has been happening since she passed. My mother is sending strong messages almost every other day. Has brought peace and comfort to my family.
I love you Mom!
Stacey October 16, 2018
Hi Matt I am just writing to say It has been 20 years since I lost the love of my life. I am seeing the signs and feeling his presence. I miss him so very much. I know he is sending me very strong signs and messages. Your words of wisdom is very comforting. I would like to know the next time you will be visiting New York City? please keep in touch with me. I would really like to know how my dearly departed is doing.
Our granddaughters wedding is this Friday. Steve was a big part of her life/ I am afraid I am going to lose it and I dont want to. This is a happy ocassion. We were planning together what we would do, now I have to do it alone.
Thank you Matt for all your messages. I love to read them they help me so much. I was so glad to meet you and your message from my son. Thank you
It is very comforting to read this article. I lost my mom 7 years ago. I am sure she is looking after me and my little one as a guiding angel. I have felt her presence many times. Thanks Matt. I now feel even more connected to her.
Thank you for your comforting words today I needed that more than anything today as for today I laid to rest my Brothers son today my nephew for I know he is with his mother, father, grandma and grandpa again thank you for your kind words
I lost my husband on June 12th 2016, when he passed away there was no closure I feel really bad not spending the day before with him see I was trying to finish a story for a college course I was doing, but I finished it but on Sunday morning at 2:30 am John passed away I didn’t even get to tell him that I loved him and to tell him goodbye, now it has been almost 2 and half years since he passed away, I still feel guilty about not spending all day Saturday with him and even that night, how can I get closure with John also my Dad lost his 3 siblings he had left in 2016 too he is the oldest of all of them he is 95 years old, I know he misses them and his parents too what types of encouragement can you give me and my Dad? I also enjoy reading the stories from the people that write you it does bring hope to many I am sure. Just one more thing I do hope John is watching over me and my Dad and my In-Laws and my Son too we all miss John and all of our loved ones very much. Sincerely, Lisa Castello