If you are a friend of mine on my Facebook Page, you will notice that I have been posting inspirational memes about forgiveness and letting go. It shocked me how many people replied with such negativity. It was very apparent to me that they were still hurting, sad and scarred from the negativity caused by someone they once knew, trusted and loved.
Forgiving and letting go after someone has done you wrong is indeed the hardest choice you can ever make, but it is one of the most important for you and for your health. Here’s why…
Negativity does not stay with the person you are upset with…
Some people feel that by holding grudges, it protects them from anyone else who tries to hurt them, including the person who hurt them. The truth is that the person who made you feel pain isn’t feeling that energy; you are. Although you think you may have it tucked deep down inside, the energy and pain are still living within you.
Situations we don’t find closure with lives within us and stops us from moving further in our life. Forgiveness does not mean the person was right; it means that you are freeing yourself from that negativity so you can live life again and put it out of mind.
Forgiveness allows you to feel free and happy again…
I was recently doing a psychic reading for a woman who waited over a year to talk to me. During our phone reading, she wanted advice and guidance from her mom who had died.
During her reading, her mom was talking about forgiveness. She had seen that her daughter was feeling lonely and disconnected. She wanted her daughter to make up with her kids and to put herself back out there into the dating world. She could see that her daughter would have the option of getting married again and of developing a close bond with her children.
During the reading, the mother’s spiritual guidance was very clear. She wanted her daughter to take back control of her life and to start to live again, but was her daughter ready to make the change?
Love & Divine Guidance from Heaven…
I personally love when the spirit comes through with wisdom and guidance. Those we love in spirit can see tomorrow so much more clearly than we can see yesterday.
When I started to deliver some of these messages to my client, she would not stop interrupting me. Instead of wanting to hear about her future, all she wanted to do was hear about her past. She wanted to know if the people who had hurt her felt pain, if her kids regretted what they had done and how they had treated her, if her family knew how judgmental they were, if her ex-husband’s new marriage would fail, and it just continued…
The more I tried to deliver her mother’s messages to her about the future, the more she would try to change the messages and make it about the past. Her mom didn’t want to talk about it. Her mom knew that her daughter had been dwelling on this for years and had pushed everyone away until finally, she was all alone living in the past.
My client at the time couldn’t see it. She thought by pushing everyone away and holding onto grudges, she was protecting herself. She felt it would make her feel better to think negatively about those who had hurt her. Instead, she was the problem to herself; she was closing her heart off and sinking into a depression.
Her mom had an important question for her: “ Are you ready to let go of the past and heal?” Her mom explained to her through me that she was trying to help her, but 25 mins of the reading were spent with daughter complaining and bringing up her painful past.
Finally, it just came out. I said, “Don’t you see what you are doing? Your mom is trying to talk to you and you keep blocking the messages. You only want to relive your painful past.”
Her daughter stopped talking and remained quiet; suddenly, everything clicked. She saw that the pain was from holding on to the sadness for too long. She immediately began crying, and the pain was finally starting to release. She knew her mom was right; she had stopped living life because she was holding too much.
She didn’t date because of her failed marriage; she didn’t have friends because she was once deceived; she didn’t talk to her children because she felt they didn’t love her. Slowly but surely, she knew she needed to forgive and take her mom’s advice.
Forgiveness starts from the heart. It starts with YOU!
Over the past few weeks, she has started on the path of forgiveness. She first started with forgiving herself for her mistakes and for living in pain for so long. She forgave the grudges she held against her family and started to erase the painful memories from the past. She forgave her ex-husband and decided to put herself online and start to trust dating again.
You see, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to ring someone’s doorbell and hug them. It all starts with you letting go of the pain and deciding to move forward.
In this case, there were some family members she couldn’t visit or talk to because the relationship was so bad. All she could do was forgive them in her heart and release the pain to the universe. What she could still repair was the relationship with her kids. She took a few weeks and then worked up the courage to grab the phone and call them. She set a date for them to meet up and talk, and they did.
It was not a joyous family reunion at first. In the beginning, it was awkward and emotionally painful, but she decided to push through it. She sat down and actually listened to what her kids had to say, and it was heavy. She cried but was ready for a change. For the first time ever, she was repairing and healing the past, not just living it. Her children forgave her and she forgave them. She was ready to put in the work, and it forever changed her life. They now talk every day, and she now has her family back.
Today, she is a different woman. She is finally living in the future. She is spending time with her grandchildren, dating an amazing man, and rediscovering her love of painting. She has even made like-minded friends by joining new classes. The people whom she once hated, no longer have control over her. She freed the energy and let go.
There is something we can all learn from this message from the spirit. Let go of the things weighing you down and take back control over your life. It may be painful at first, but it is worth the journey to heal and to be free.
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Responses
I lent my mom 600$ …she was supposed to pay me back….a year went by..I was so angry with her…to have the audacity to act as if nothing is wrong..Not even bring it up…as if it never happened! Then she had to borrow my shower(my own place)till hers’ was repaired..What a week? Or two ? Maybe? Yea, one year later, she ended up getting a new place..and I decided the stress of her owing me money wasn’t worth the gray hair I was getting! So, I told her , “it’s a gift” I said it very nicely, with a smile…I meant it! I needed to forget about it! It stressed me out so bad..I would never do that to my kids! However, I did tell her “ never again though” ask one of the other kids! Lol…..it totally worked..I felt much better after..
What do you do if someone actually goes out of their way to try to hurt you? I dont react. Its done via her mouth & on Facebook.
After years of suffering I have learned that forgiveness is the only way to truly distance yourself from the negative. Thank you for sharing this with me .
Sorry, but I am just not sure that I am at a point where I am strong enough to forgive what was done to me. I rather feel the pain for now, but I will think about what you said.
There are so many emotions that I have held onto through the years. I am ready to let go and for a change to happen. This came at just the right time for me. Your words always inspire me. Thank you.
If only forgiveness was this easy. Sometimes it feels better to hold a grudge than to let someone get away with hurting you and doing you wrong. It’s sad how emotional wounds can be the most painful to heal.
All my life I have felt different. Alone. Wasn’t. But then family started dying around me. My brother Fred at 17 years old. Then my mom passed on Valentine’s day. It’s been 30 years since I seen my mom it heard her voice. Then after that it was only my brother Allen n me. For thirty years it was me n him. My protector. My everything. He passed 49 years old kidney cancer. Now it’s just me. This past Valentine’s day I was good . No crying. But 30 years! Then my aunty passed on the same day. Unexpectedly. Now I seem to be reeling inside my heart. Im trying to forgive cuz they were taken so soon. I miss all three but Allen I’m lost inside.
Also can’t seem to find happiness with men. I am not sure why..
Forgiving others has always been tough for me. I have learned that if I hold on to them it will make my life miserable. It has taken me a long time to forgive those who have hurt me and also my ex husband who passed 2 years ago in January.
I want to for get all the bad thing he had said and do but it hard because l forgive hem and he goes back and do them so is like a up and down he left me for many reasons one them was he want back to his ex and that not the frist time what edvise. You give me thank matt for taking your time for listening
Such a hard truth to acknowledge without the acceptance of God in your life. I have lived through hardships that most people will never live through. I lost a sister to domestic violence, murdered by her husband who then killed himself. I am living with cancer as part of my journey. I am married to an alcoholic for 42 years, was finally going to leave as I had found what love truly was with a man who touched my heart and soul . He became ill and died before that happened . During that time, I took custody of my grandchildren who were homeless living in a tent. Has my life been fair? No. Every issue has been a learning time for me and God has been there providing me with the strength and courage to continue. One of the greatest gifts God gives us is the ability to forgive. I have always believed this and as much as these life lessons hurt, I’ve never questioned His love to see me through. Great article Matt, thank you ?
Thank you Matt, your words inspired me to try to forgive … it’s time..I’m tired of living with the hurt, it’s time to let go of the pain and move on.
Greetings. I desire genuine forgiveness. I’m allowing people to rent a space in my head for free. So how does one forgive another who has violated you in severe ways.
I believe forgiveness is a Gift. When my desire to let this go is prominent, and I want to break the chains that bond me to them, I will find a way with Spiritual help.
I’m aware of certain techniques that can help. I look forward to freedom from my pain. Best to all of us.
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