You know that feeling when something sits heavy on your chest, and you keep telling yourself you’ll deal with it later? I’ve been having one of those weeks where a particular memory keeps surfacing, and I finally realized why I need to write about it.
There’s something I want to share about the secrets we carry – the ones that feel too small to confess but too big to forget. The truths we always meant to tell but somehow never found the right moment for.
I think about this a lot in my work – how many people are walking around carrying secrets they never got to confess, truths they never got to share, apologies they never got to make. The guilt eats at us, grows in the dark, becomes something much bigger than the original mistake.
I had my own truth I never got to tell. Something I did as a kid that seemed small at the time but grew into this huge weight I carried for years. A moment where fear made me choose the easy way out, and I let someone I loved think they’d made a mistake instead of admitting to mine.
The details aren’t important – what matters is how that secret shaped me. Every celebration, every moment when that person told me how proud they were of me, I thought about what I’d done. Such a small thing that became this enormous burden.
The difference is, I got lucky. I told the truth while there was still time. Sat down and confessed the whole thing, apologizing for the deception and for letting them doubt themselves.
You know what they said? They’d known all along. They were just waiting for me to be ready to tell them.
All that guilt, all that shame, all those years of carrying this secret – and they’d known and forgiven me before I even felt bad about it.
That’s the thing about unfinished business with our loved ones. We think these moments define us, that they’re evidence of our fundamental flaws. But the people who love us see the bigger picture. They understand that children make mistakes, that fear makes us do things we regret, that growing up is messy and imperfect.
In my readings, I see this pattern over and over. Someone comes through from spirit, and instead of focusing on the mistake their loved one is obsessing over, they’re concerned about the guilt that person has been carrying. They want to heal the wound, not reopen it.
I’ve watched spirits come through with messages like “Tell them I knew about the money they took” or “Tell them I never cared about the lie they told” or “Tell them the thing they broke didn’t matter.” Over and over, the same theme: love sees past our mistakes.
The people who really know us understand that we’re human, that we’re learning, that our worst moments don’t define our worth. They care more about the burden we’re carrying than they ever cared about the original transgression.
If you’re carrying guilt about something you never got to confess, some truth you never got to share, some apology you never got to make, remember this: the people who loved you probably understood more than you realized. They probably forgave you before you even asked. And if they’re in spirit now, they’re probably more concerned about the weight you’re carrying than they ever were about what you did.
And if you’re lucky enough to still have time with your loved ones, don’t wait. Have the conversation. Tell the truth. Ask for forgiveness. Not because you need it to be loved, but because carrying secrets is exhausting, and the people who love you would rather share your burden than watch you carry it alone.
Sometimes the most important healing happens when we finally release the guilt we were never meant to carry forever. Our loved ones – whether here or in spirit – want us to forgive ourselves the way they’ve already forgiven us.
I just wanted to share this because I know I’m not alone in carrying these kinds of secrets. If you want to talk to your loved ones who passed, or if you’re carrying something heavy that you never got to resolve, I hope you’ll join me for my next group reading. Sometimes the healing we need most is knowing we’re forgiven for the things we never got to apologize for.
-Matt
Responses
I treated my parents really bad growing up I was a thief and liar with no remorse. But as I got older I realized there was something I had to do and that was to ask there forgiveness but as time went on it was to late they both passed away and I continue to live with the guilt and shame of my sins which were many.
I would like to do a phone reading or on-line reading with Matt Fraser. Is there a number I can call to talk to him and what is the cost?
Matt,
Thank you for sharing your gift with the world. One of the things about you that made me trust you ( besides listening to readings and seeing you live ) , was the fact that wanted to help people by being an EMT in Boston. That’s not an easy job !
Thanks for sharing so honestly – I look forward to another group reading soon.
Christine Gutkowski
Thank you. Yes, for some time I’ve been carrying guilt of past doings. I appreciate you sharing with us.
This was such a perfect and important message. Thank you.
Do you still do personal readings one on one?
Thanks for that information Mat take care love to you and your family ❤️
Wow. Words i really needed to hear. Now I hope I take the words with positive a tin for my family abd friends and especially fr myself and my life. Its dangerously important. I love life and my beautiful family. I really need to make a change fir the better now. And hope to advocate this exoeriance to the public as i was unaware of its unstable/addictive consequences. Thank you again Natt. You are amazing and have a beautiful family also.
Thank you, I have many questions about my love ones who have passed. Watching you I believe that I will see them again but wish I could have a reading
That is a great perspective but what about the times and relationships that it isn’t possible? Most of my family doesn’t communicate and it simply isn’t possible to speak to them let alone apologize.
Just wanted to say Thank You, I needed to hear this at a time when I’m feeling not worthy of so many things 😢 God Bless You and Your Beautiful Family ❤️
Agree💯🥳
Thank you for your wisdom and insight. I carry a secret and it will go to my grave. Although it weighs heavy on me, I kept it from my children to protect them. I did not want them to think less of their father who has always been a good father even though he was not always a good husband.
I appreciate the caring, straightforward way you speak. I find myself listening to two of your books on Audible quite frequently. Lost count of how many times. The knowledge you share is so amazing and really has changed my life and my perspective on life and the many challenges it had put in my path. Just like you! It was destined that I came across such a wonderful beacon of light. I’ve attended several of your online group reading, excited for the one in September on the 20th. I’ll be there! This post resonates with me. The weight I’ve carried for so many years, your words have answered my prayers. I carry so much of others guilt as well as my own. Always being put in that position of “saving the day” bit no one answering my call. Until now, until you and your beautiful soul. Its obvious why you were given this gift. See you in September. Love and Light,
Rachel
Oh Matt God put you here on earth to help so many people around the world.
I have all your books and read everything that comes up on my iPad/phone ..
I am 80 next birthday and your wisdom helps me more than anyone/anything else.
God bless you and your beautiful little family. Bev (Australia)
Hello I just got done a reading your Story i am so happy that you was able to do share. I would like to be in the group reading that you have coming up on your site.
Hi Matt, very nicely written and so true. I am in my 70’s now but my mind still pulls me back to my 40’s which is fun. I have been organizing my high school reunions for almost 50 years and when I give my opening/welcome speech to my classmates, one of the lines is “look around the room and think about the classmates you wanted to talk to or tell them something from the 1960’s and make time to speak with each one and enjoy sharing your thoughts. This may be your last opportunity so don’t waste anymore time. Enjoy every minute of this weekend and let’s laugh at the good times!!” Hopefully that gets everyone looking around the room and getting ready to address some old wounds or laugh at forgoten mishaps. I really enjoy you!
Thank you Matt. It’s so true what you said and I agree! I am caring guilt but I’m not sure if it’s me or my daughter that should confess. Probably both of us. I was accosted recently by the man I was living with and through this terrible time my daughter was trying to help but our conversation on the phone turned and I yelled at her. Now she doesn’t want to talk to me or text her. I have been devastated by all that has happened and I should apologize for yelling. But one of my dear friends told me I shouldn’t feel bad that at the time I was traumatized and did not know what I was doing. I am just now getting to the point where I feel like getting out amongst people. What are your thoughts?
Hi matt . I have been told several times. I had come into some major power . My energy has increased a lot my intuition has increased. I have one big ass dream that made me feel so strange. I also had a bad headache on my left side of my face .well it’s a long story . Just so much stuff has happened to me but the ppl i find on line are just not for me .That are a lot of fake ppl out there . Your not one of them . I have only seen you once in Saskatoon. Would like to see you again one day . I have been one some of you computer readings but no luck for me lol. Im so glad that God made you . I would love to tell you every thing I have seen the last lost couple of years . Well I’m sorry for going on and on. I’m just had to say .keep on doing what your doing .you help so many ppl still on this side …………. Valerie meier
i SUFFER the opposite: I was born into a wretchedly poor family, alcoholic father, four older siblings, two younger. As a teen, I found work downtown in a store.I bought a cheap car $275, and gave Mom $20 to make payments on it. I tried to pay it off early, and every spare 20, I gave her. She worked for the county. Three months later, I thought I paid the car off. It happens, Mom decided to keep the ‘extra’. A few years later, I won a $1000 scholarship. My older sisters asked if I would ‘loan’ one $800 as a decent little hous was available for that down payment. Reluctantly, I fell for the sad story: that sister had 3 little kids and her ‘husband’ had left town. Neither made an effort to pay me back, and I took over ownership of the house..3 years later. That sister wanted me to pay her back some of the house payments she had made and pay her delinquent utilities and phone bill..for that house, When I declined, she gossiped that I had forced her and her children out of the house in a harsh, cold blooded attitude. All false. And that and other sorry events are why I never try to join your psychic events. I don’t care to hear from them.
I never got the chance to explain things that happened in m life. I should have been strong enough to explain and ask forgiveness, but when I finally got the courage to do this, he was gone. I am so deep in grief, and guilt for not being stronger that my life feels over. I loved this person so much, and I missed the chance to have a life with him. I don’t know how to reconcile this . This man is my soul mate without a doubt. My procrastination ruined both of our lives, an now he has passed , and it is too late. I will not begetting over this. People , please learn from m mistakes and missteps.
Matt,
This is so besutiful , thank you for this . Once my dil passed I did the right thing by telling people who
I thought I had wronged that I was very sorry if I hurt them as that was not my intention .
My only regret is that I did not tell my dil just how much I loved her 🥲
I have been fine I’ll by my own family who have never apologised for the harm they did to me ( huge ) but I have forgiven them and that is thanks to you . 🦋
Matt, 9/01/2025
Your heart is beautiful, your gift is a treasure. The way you told your story was enlightening. I have your books and definitely enjoy your teachings and insight of the other side and spirit contact.
I also had the pleasure to see you live in Texas. Seeing you was a wonderful experience. I attended that show with my oldest brother. He was fighting cancer and unknown to us at the time , I would lose him about a year and a half later as he won his battle with that horrid disease that had actually taken both our parents . Daddy in 2015, Mother 2021, and then him in 2024. I was Blessed to spend that time and moment with him. We didnt get a reading but we had fun.
I was very Blessed to have the time and ability to care for each of them as they travled ther journeys and found their peace. I thank God everyday for those final days and moments.
But… the time I spent taking care of them was draining, emotionally, physically, and personally. I’m not complaining but I think that there were times that I let everything get the best of me. I was grouchy, whiny, and selfish. I wasnt mad about having to take care of them. I was hurt and scared and overwhelmed because I knew I was losing them and had NO control over that outcome. I feel so guilty about my behavior during those moments and never said I was sorry or explained to them that i t wasnt that they were a burden or that i was doing something I didnt want to but that my heart was breaking and I couldnt change what was happening. That I was scared that I was losing them. Scared of being here without their physical presence but most of all I was worried I wasnt doing enough or that what I was doing wasnt good and comfortable enough.
I pray everyday and tell them how sorry I am for my behavior, if I ever made them feel bad, or ever forgot to tell them i love them so very much. And finally that I was so Blessed to have them in my life and would Never, for anything, change those final moments i had.
DHarris
I can relate to all you say and as humans we are all imperfect and here to learn and navigate our life but mistakes are made along the way . I HEAR you MATT . I’m looking forward to the time I am able to have a READING from you. I have all your books and love them and iv watched some shows and interviews and I must say from my heart you are one of the most naturally gifted and genuine psychic mediums this world has been blessed with. I love your sence of humour too , your one of a kind and I wish you and your family every happiness and joy. Larisa
That’s great you’ve realized this now rather than later. Thanks for sharing. Making amends has been recommended by many others for a very long time. I like to call it my own life review. Others call it shadow work.
Another way to look at it is healing old wounds. By taking responsibility for our contribution to what happened, we grieve the past. It’s the real purpose of the life review after we die. Grieving is permanent. Once we do it, we never have to do it again. Making amends to others is also permanent. We only have to do it once for each instance of painful encounters. Once we forgive someone, we never have to think about that again. It’s a one time deal, just like grieving.
Thank you for that. I just want to be with my beautiful son .my time here is done. The pain only gets worse 💔
Thank you for this Matt.
Unfortunately I will never be able to talk to you I live in England in a village and could never afford to see you. I thank you so much for comforting me through your books and emails. God bless you .
Enjoy your messages very intuitive and even though I might not read them right away when I do it’s just what I needed to hear at that moment. Sometimes, just have a hard time thinking of death and dying of our loved ones and hearing the stories because I relive them dying over and over. So don’t watch the shows when I can’t handle it and go through times when I watch shows often and catch up on what I can find. Lots of re- runs haven’t seen a lot of the new I think the algorithms on Utube are off. I get very limited feed now from U tube. Love your programs and one time I was truly considering going to Las Vegas to see you and I got in a bad accident and car not working so I was glad I didn’t sign up after all cuz I wouldn’t have been able to go. Something inside told me to hold off so I did. It was a hit and run the man looked at me in his big beautiful red newish truck after smashing me hard and took off fast. Caused a huge issue with work trying to get car fixed. Maybe someday can get family to come with me and hope to see you in Vegas at a reading. I think the work you do is so very important and hope it never ends. I learn so much even though I haven’t actually had a reading yet somehow I felt I did a few times on line readings that I had purchased. Thank you from my heart, Matt for everything, your an Earthly Angel.
Matt,
That’s such an important message. My father passed 11 years ago and what i found out about him at his funeral broke my heart as there was so much he never told us. The flood of people at his funeral and the stories from people that had know him astounded me as I always underestimated my Dad. I never gave him enough credit or appreciated the sacrifices he made to give us a good life as I never really understood it. I’ve only recently come across you from your interview with Marie Forleo and I’m so glad. You have bought a lot of clarity to so many instances in my life. Your gift is exceptional and brings closure and joy to so many people. God bless you and thank you. Emilia (an Aussie Italian)
Thanks I needed this so much. My Dad said a vicious thing & I responded in anger. I have regretted it since I lashed out. He passed 1-1-12. I apologize daily. This helps. Thank you.
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Thanks Matt, I live in Liberty, Kentucky. If i see that you will be near here, I will be there.
Joan Stoehr
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