Losing a Loved One: Learning to Forgive Yourself

Losing a Loved One: Learning to Forgive Yourself

The death of a loved one is never easy, and for many people the pain is intensified by guilt. It’s easy to look back when everything is over and realize you could have done better.  It’s normal to have regrets – you wish you’d spent more time with them when they were alive; you weren’t with them when they passed over; you said something hurtful and never apologized – but remember, no relationship is perfect, and beating yourself up over something that can’t be changed isn’t healthy.

 

You Can’t Turn Back Time

 

I recently did a reading for a woman who had lost her brother to suicide. The moment I tuned into her energy I could feel her tremendous pain. She and her brother had a close relationship, and she had been aware of the emotional struggles he was going through and knew of his suicidal thoughts.

 

She had always done the best she could to support him. She would call him every day to check up on him and ask him how he felt. She constantly reassured him that she was there for him and loved him.

 

The night before his passing, she called him and right away sensed something was different. She asked him repeatedly if he was okay and he reassured her that he was fine. She kept her phone on that night and had it under her pillow in case he needed her. Unfortunately, the only call that came was to let her know that he had passed away.

 

Ever since that day she had been weighed down with grief and regret. She replayed the night over and over, imagining different scenarios where she rushed over, broke down the door, and saved him. She was drowning in guilt and emotional pain.

 

When her brother came through during our reading, his message was filled with love and healing words. He told her he appreciated her always being there for him, and that their relationship had been one of the best things in his life. He assured her that the suicide was not her fault, and that there was nothing she could have done to stop him.

 

Finally, he told her that he was happy in Heaven, and urged her to forgive herself so that she could heal and be happy too.

 

Allowing Yourself to Heal

 

One unfortunate reality of life is that you can’t control everything and everyone. The woman who lost her brother might have stopped him that night, only to lose him to suicide another day. People have free will, their own lessons to learn, and choices that only they can make. When someone passes, you can’t turn back the clock and bring them back for good, but there are ways to replace your grief and regret with loving memories.

 

Here are some techniques that can help:

 

1) Start by remembering the good times. Grief is funny. It blocks out all the happy memories and only leaves us with pain. Don’t let the good memories be lost. Think of the person when they were enjoying life, happy and healthy. Remember the experiences you shared, holidays, trips, inside jokes. Train yourself to replace the sad, regretful thoughts with memories that make you smile.

 

2) Look back on old photos. See the person when they were happy and vibrant. If you can, get a photo album or browse a social media page where there are pictures you haven’t seen before. Images of your loved one during family gatherings, celebrations, and vacations will help you remember them at their best – and keep them alive in your heart.

 

3) Talk about it. Sometimes people avoid bringing up the name of someone who has passed over. Do your best to break through that barrier and share a happy memory. Encourage other friends or family members to relay their own stories about the departed.  If you’re not ready to talk to family members or mutual friends of the deceased, consider a support group. Talking to others who have been through the same thing might be hard at first, but hearing what they have to say will help you

 

When I speak to the dead, one thing always comes through. They don’t want their death to hold you back. Guilt can prevent you from moving on with your life. Give yourself permission to be happy again and let go of the guilt and regret you’re holding on to.

 

If you would like to join me for an online group reading, you can sign up for one here. To make it even more special your family can attend with you and all you need is one ticket. Just make sure they are sitting with you on camera. It doesn’t matter where you live and you don’t need any fancy technology. All you need is a tablet, computer or a smartphone to be able to join.

 

I believe, the more that you learn about Heaven, the more that you learn that your loved ones are not far away. That’s exactly why I want to share my gift with you ! I hope that by attending an event with me, you’ll feel closer than ever to the people you love. I hope it helps you to open yourself up to sensing and feeling spirit and tuning into their special loving vibration!

 

I hope to see your face, and the faces of your loved ones in Heaven, on my computer screen during my next online event!

Losing Your Soulmate

Losing Your Soulmate

Losing a loved one can leave a great big void in your life – and when it’s your spouse or soulmate, the loss is even harder to bear. After all, your significant other was a part of every single day. Suddenly there’s no one to have coffee with, watch television with and your daily routine, and pretty much your whole life is suddenly in turmoil.

After the initial shock of losing someone passes, most people are left with questions.

Is my loved one watching over me?

Are they in Heaven?

Are they reunited with family and pets who have passed?

Are they sending me signs that they’re around?

That’s where I come in.

I’m so grateful to be able to provide people who are grieving comfort and to answer their questions. Actually, it’s the departed who answer – I’m just the “telephone operator” who passes on their messages.

A reading for Dorinda Medley.

Not too long ago I was invited to the Berkshire’s to meet with Dorinda Medley of Real Housewives of New York. Dorinda had lost her husband Richard after only six years of marriage. Before I even arrived at her house, Richard had already started reaching out to me from the other side, giving me information and letting me know how excited he was to communicate with his wife.

He told me that he was concerned she had stopped enjoying life and was constantly searching for signs from him and wondering about him.

He was right. The moment I sat down with Dorinda my heart broke for her. I could feel the pain that she was carrying with her every day. It was like a piece of her heart had been taken when Richard died.

When I started the reading, Richard came through loud and clear. He told me to tell Dorinda that he was with Gerry. That immediately made her smile and start to laugh. Gerry was one of his close friends who had passed just a year before he did.

I love when spirit does that! They bring through little validations that are exactly what we need to hear. It gives us a glimpse at what Heaven is like.

At that moment I saw something change in Dorinda. Everything suddenly clicked for her. Even though she would always miss her daily interaction with Richard, she could rest easier knowing he was at peace and with friends in Heaven.

 

Watch Dorinda’s Reading.

Although Bravo didn’t broadcast my whole reading, Richard came through with validation that he had attended his daughter’s wedding in spirit. He thanked Dorinda for being part of his daughter’s life – supporting her when he couldn’t be there for her.

Five ways to heal your heart.

If you are missing a significant other, there’s something to learn from my reading with Dorinda. Although death may feel like the ultimate divide, your loved one is actually never far away.

When you’re mourning the loss of someone, it can feel like you’ll never be happy again. That’s not what your loved one wants! They’re watching over you, and they want you to make the most of your time on earth.

These simple steps can start your journey toward healing…

1. Give things away.

Often, people are reluctant to give away their loved one’s things. They might just shut the closet door and avoid it entirely. I have a secret for you. Your loved one doesn’t need all that stuff, and neither do you. Give items away to friends and family who will appreciate having something to remember them by, and give what’s left to people who need it. It’s a meaningful way to honor their memory and you will feel good knowing they have a special piece of him or her.

2. Don’t be afraid to talk about them.

Talking about your soulmate is a great way to feel closer to them and start the healing process. Share funny stories and happy memories. You’ll be surprised how good it feels. You’re probably going to have to begin the conversation –  other people are probably afraid to reopen your wounds, so they might avoid the topic. You will notice the moment you start to talk about old memories, those around you will do the same.

3. Letting go.

There comes a point where you have to focus on life and start letting go of your grief. Letting go does not mean you don’t still cherish memories of your loved one. They will always be in your heart. It just means you have to move on, and start to enjoy experiences and people, without guilt.

4. Give yourself a break.

No matter how long someone has been gone, there might still be days when you miss them so much that you can’t stand it. You don’t have to be strong all the time! It’s alright to let yourself give in to grief once in a while. If you want to spend a day in bed crying and looking at photographs – do it. Then say to your loved one, “Okay, I’m going back to my life now!” and get up, get dressed, and take on the day- and the rest of your life.

5. Continue life like you are still together.

Just because your soulmate is gone doesn’t mean you have to give up the things you enjoyed together. Take trips, see your mutual friends, go to your favorite restaurants. Watch a movie that you both loved on Netflix. You’ll find that instead of making you sad, you’ll feel closer to your soulmate in the most joyful way.

If you pull out your photo album and look through old pictures of those who have passed, that’s what Heaven is like. The same people are together on the other side, just as they were in life, but without pain or illness. Remember that life is a gift and live it well. When your time comes, you’ll be reunited with your soulmate in Heaven.

Laughter is the best medicine.

Remember that whether you are feeling lonely, sad, or stressed you can spend Monday nights with me and my family right in your living room. I love sharing my family with you each week on my TV series ‘Meet The Frasers’.  I hope that when you watch you laugh with us, cry with us and feel part of our family each week. It’s hard to believe that we are already half way through season one! If you missed an episode you can binge watch the series on demand or on Hulu or the NBC app. Also, remember to subscribe to me email newsletter by clicking here so you never miss a new inspirational article about Heaven and the afterlife.

 

 

 

Sensing Spirit and Their Personalities

Sensing Spirit and Their Personalities

What happens to your soul when you die?

When a loved one passes away, something amazing happens. Their physical body stays on earth and their soul takes flight into heaven, leaving their illness and disabilities behind. Without the body, the soul becomes pure energy. To some people, the thought of their loved ones being energy is scary, but that’s why I love doing this work. Even after death, there is one thing that still remains will them and that is there personality.

I love it when a soul comes through with their personality in a reading. It is a reminder to us that even though that person has passed on, death has not changed them. Your loved ones want you to remember them as happy and as they were in their best moments. I love giving readings because I feel like I can loan you my eyes for a few moments and give you a glance of what your loved ones are like in heaven. The truth is that even if you are not a psychic medium, your loved ones will still try to visit and communicate with you. Oftentimes, during a reading, they will allow me to sense and feel the ways they are using to communicate with you.

Meeting Dr. Paul Nassif

I just had the honor and privilege of meeting Dr. Paul Nassif from the television show “Botched.” Each day he changes lives for the better by fixing people who had botched surgeries. The moment I met him, I could see his mom was standing by his side in spirit. I could sense the strong bond of love that they shared with one another. The crazy part is that not only did I see her with him, but also I could smell her! The moment I saw her soul I started to smell Jean Nate. I told Paul and he immediately started to cry. He was smelling something around him, but didn’t know it was his mom trying to reach out.

His mom was so vibrant in her personality. When I saw her with him she was all dressed up with her makeup on and her hair perfect like she had just walked out of the hair salon. She looked like one of the Golden Girls and her personality was one that was electric.

Dr. Nassif was overwhelmed with emotion. His mom had always been the life of the party. She would get dressed up, look beautiful, and was everyone’s best friend and favorite mother. After her stroke, the illness had changed her and she was not the same person that she once was. Seeing the change in his mother took an emotional toll on him and the family.

That changed, however, when his mom came through in the reading. When she came through with her personality suddenly Dr. Nassif knew his mom was back to her old self.

Watch the Reading Here:

Learning to heal the painful memories.

I believe that one reading can touch many people and that’s why I wanted to share this reading with you.

Just like Paul’s mom, your loved ones are with you and without illness. During my time as a psychic medium I have seen incredible things through my readings. I have had children come through in spirit with disabilities that can now walk and be free. Parents that had passed with Alzheimer’s can now remember and think clearly. Recently, I even had a son come through who was autistic and non-verbal but now could speak and communicate in Heaven.

The truth is that those you love and miss are happy and free. Spirits often tell me in readings that they wish they could erase all the painful memories that their loved ones hold onto after they die. That’s why they come through in readings with their personalities and the way that they lived and enjoyed life before they were sick. They want to show you that they truly are OK and that’s it is OK to remember them in a happy way.

Happiness is Healing.

When you are thinking about your special loved one in heaven, remember the good days. So many times after a loved one passes away, you bury the thoughts of losing them and the photo albums and memories that go along with them. It doesn’t have to be that way. When you open yourself up to the happy times you unlock the door to receiving spirit messages and signs from them.

The signs can come in many different ways. Spirits loves sending you signs like music, dreams, repeating numbers, and, sometimes, you might even smell the familiar smell of their perfume like Jean Nate. These are all ways that your loved ones let you know that they are fine. The signs are all around you—you just have to be open to receiving them. Don’t block your emotions; instead, open the door to happy memories that make you smile. Take out the photo albums, home movies, or letters from your loved ones and choose to remember the good times. As you start to reminisce, remember that your loved one in spirit is standing with you proud, happy, and, most of all, with their same personality.

If you enjoyed this blog post I would like to invite you to join my “Email from Heaven” monthly newsletter by clicking HERE. Each month I will send you my newest blog posts, videos and also a free gift to your inbox. I hope that my emails help you on your spiritual journey and help you stay connected to those you love and miss in Heaven.

 

 

 

E! ONLINE: I Got a Reading From Psychic Medium Matt Fraser & Totally Cried!

E! ONLINE: I Got a Reading From Psychic Medium Matt Fraser & Totally Cried!

When it comes to psychics, the other side and spirits, I’ve always been a believer. Ask any of my friends, they’ll tell you of my tarot cards parties and my love of the supernatural.Yet, I still wasn’t prepared for the encounter I had with psychic medium Matt Fraser on Tuesday, Dec. 17.

Fraser, alongside his beauty queen love Alexa Papigiotis, has a new docu-series Meet the Fraserscoming to E! (premiering Monday, Jan. 13, to be exact). Thus, I originally sat down with the new E! couple to discuss their relationship, their entertaining family and so much more.

Not only were Fraser and Papigiotis incredibly warm and generous, but they were also very forthcoming. Perhaps, this is why I was emboldened to ask if any spirits tried to connect with me during our sit down.

Initially, Fraser gave me a flat out, “No.” However, per the 28-year-old clairvoyant, he can compartmentalize the voices during an interview.

Before I could assure him that a reading was not necessary, Fraser began sifting through the spirits reaching out to him.

“Who died in tragedy in your family?” the Meet the Frasers medium asked.

Upon hearing this question, my chest tightened and my eyes began to fight back tears. I knew immediately whom he was referring to.On October 20, 2018, my aunt, Susan Ray, unexpectedly died in a car accident. As Fraser connected with my late aunt, he began touching upon things that only intimate family members would know.

For starters, before learning the cause of death, he made reference to her quick passing and noted that she regretted not seeing everybody before dying.

My aunt passed away on her 50th birthday and we had a family party planned for the next day. I hadn’t even spoken to her as I had just arrived from Los Angeles that day.

On top of addressing my aunt’s untimely passing, he also brought up her lengthy health struggles. Of course, this was particularly surprising to hear as Susan’s hardships were something we rarely discussed outside the family.”She says to me, ‘I was having an issue both physically and also emotionally. I want to tell my family that I’m sorry for everything that had happened,'” Fraser relayed. “Because, she had died so quickly and not only did everyone not get to say goodbye, but they were kept out of the loop of everything that was going on.”

For many years, my aunt suffered from unexplained seizures, gastrointestinal issues and more. In fact, we never truly got clarity on what was wrong with her.

Matt Fraser, Alexa Papigiotis, Meet the Frasers

“She says, what was going on with her body, they were having an issue diagnosing her. She’s showing her going back and forth to the doctors and not being able to understand what was going on with her,” the new E! personality expressed. “I’ll feel a spirit and I felt it all in my stomach, this pain.”As he continued the reading, Fraser highlighted how my aunt struggled with depression due to her illness. Thankfully, he assured me that she was as vibrant as she was pre-sickness on the other side.

Still, I was most shocked when Fraser seemingly solved how my aunt ended up in a car accident. Without being told the specifics of her death, Fraser said (while channeling the spirit) that he felt like he was “being run over by a car.”

“I feel like I’m almost being run over by a car. There’s this huge pain, right here,” Fraser said while gesturing to his stomach. “She says, ‘I was just trying to get through what was going on with my body and all of a sudden, I felt this crushing and I just died.'”Furthermore, Fraser believed Susan began to die “before the car accident” as she had “a rupture.” This fact left me choked up as, in the year following her death, we still didn’t have clarity into what caused her accident.

Per an eye witness, Susan was driving her car normally before accelerating to a high speed. It’s said she swerved a few times before hitting several cars.

“I tell you one thing, she would’ve passed anyway,” the psychic medium turned reality star concluded. “So, whether she was in that car accident or not—I hate to say it like that, but I gotta tell you the truth—she says to me, ‘I wouldn’t have made it.'”

I don’t think I can accurately put into words the impact this reading had on me. But, what I can tell you is, I one hundred percent cried in my car afterwards.

Watch the series premiere of Meet the Frasers Monday, Jan. 13 at 10 p.m., only on E!

 

Not Getting to Say Goodbye

Not Getting to Say Goodbye

Have you ever wished you had the opportunity to say ‘goodbye” ?

 

When you lose someone close to you it hurts, no matter what the circumstances. But when someone dies late in life or after a long illness, you at least have the chance to tie up loose ends and resolve unfinished business. Most importantly, you have time to share your deepest feelings and say goodbye.

The saddest thing is when you don’t get to say goodbye to a loved one. When someone passes over unexpectedly, friends and family are left regretting all the things left unsaid. If this has happened to you, you would probably give anything for just a few more minutes with that person.

When I do a reading, I’m basically giving someone those precious few minutes they have longed for. It’s so gratifying to be able to ease someone’s mind by giving them a chance to say goodbye and letting them know their loved one is safe and at peace on the other side.

“Nobody is going to die.”

I once did a reading at an event for a couple who had lost their young son to cancer. The little boy came through with a beautiful message for his parents. After the event, the father told me something that really touched my heart.

“A few weeks before he died, my son came up to me and said, Dad, no one in this family is going to die. It seemed like an odd thing for him to say at the time, but today it makes sense. I realize that my son never really left us – he is still right here.”

If you are dealing with guilt, sadness, and frustration because you didn’t get to say goodbye before your loved one passed, take comfort in the fact that it’s never too late. They’re not really gone – they are still watching over you, and they hear and see everything!

Here are five ways to say goodbye to a loved one in Heaven – even if you think you missed your chance:
  • Talk to them! Let them know everything you didn’t get the chance to tell them while they were alive. Tell them what they meant to you, what you learned from them. Thank them for being in your life. And you don’t have to walk around muttering to yourself- your loved ones hear you whether you talk to them out loud or in your head .

 

  • Write a letter. Some people love writing their thoughts down. If that’s you, don’t hesitate to put pen to paper any time you want to connect with your dearly departed. You can keep your letter, burn it in the fireplace, put it in a bottle and toss it in the ocean! It doesn’t matter how you “send” it – your loved one will get the message!

 

  • Honor them with a special ritual. Funerals are a way for the living to honor the person who has passed, but it might be hard for you to say goodbye when the grief is so fresh and there are so many people around. It might help to create a special ritual to say goodbye. Write a message on a balloon or release a paper lantern up into the heavens. You can even write your loved one a message on a sandy beach, and let the waves wash it away.

 

  • Remember them with a song. If there’s a song that reminds you of the person you’re missing, make it a point to think of them whenever you hear it. A friend of mine feels the presence of her grandfather every December when she hears “The Little Drummer Boy,” That was Grandpa’s favorite song, and she says a silent “Merry Christmas” to him every time it plays.

 

  • Be aware of the signs. Your loved one is always with you, and they’ll send you signs if you’re open to receive them. To encourage them, ask them to send a penny, a butterfly, or a bird to let you know they’re around. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they will come through!

 

Losing a friend or family member is hard. There is no easy way to say goodbye to someone you love and no perfect time to let go, but it helps to realize that souls never really die, and they are still around, sending you love. I hope you will make it to one of my group reading. Each is a special experience where I will be helping you connect with your loved ones that have passed on. Click Here, to find upcoming group readings near you.

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