After a loved one passes, it is normal to want to speak with them right away. Death can leave you with a lonely feeling and a deep pain within your heart. As a psychic medium, I am in touch with souls every day. The most frequent question I am asked is, “My loved one just died. How long should I wait before connecting with a medium?”
The problem is, there is no definite answer on when a soul will come through. When you contact someone in Heaven, it is a request, not a command. It’s like calling someone here on Earth. How can you be sure they will pick up? I have done readings where souls have come through the same day, and there have been other times when it has taken up to one year for a loved one to come through with a message. Some souls take a little extra time. I personally have always asked my clients to wait one year before a reading. Firstly, this is because when I do a reading, I am not after a person’s money. Instead, I want to make sure I can 100% get in touch with the soul that has passed on, and more importantly, so I give them the best reading possible. My main goal is that my clients walk away feeling hopeful and uplifted knowing their loved one is ok.
The main ways I communicate with the departed is by seeing and hearing them. I have noticed that when I speak to a soul that has recently departed, although I can connect with them, the conversation is not as clear as it normally would be. I almost always know when I am channeling someone who recently has passed because it sounds like talking on a cell phone that is breaking up. I will start to hear bits of information, like their name and how they had died, and then I will hear silence. A few moments later, they may come through and start to tell me a message, after which there is more silence; the communication isn’t consistent. But then again, there have been those strange and sometimes awkward times when souls come through unusually early. One time, I was holding an event in Maine, when my eye caught a guest seated in the third row. He had a young man in spirit standing right behind him, and he was telling me his name was Kenny; they were best friends. I pointed to the gentleman in the audience and asked him to stand up. I said to him, “Did you lose your best friend? He just told me his name is Kenny.” The man turned white. He said, “Oh my God! I just came from his funeral before coming here today. He was laid to rest this morning!”
It just goes to show one thing: different souls channel in different ways. It is based on their personality and what they were like here in this world. For example, if you have a loud, vivacious Italian grandmother who was a busybody, it is likely she will come through and talk my ear off! On the other hand, if you had a father who was quiet, reserved and kept to himself, it is not likely that he will come through as strong or with as many messages. Normally, for spirits to come through loud and early, it is because there are urgent messages they need to deliver to their family ASAP. Think about it: for a soul to come through, their needs to be a message attached. They wouldn’t just come through and not say anything. What would be the point? They will, however, come through to bring their family comfort and closure or to assist them with any questions that have gone unanswered.
So, you might be thinking, why does it take a year sometimes for a loved one to come through?
The answer is simple. During that time, the departed goes through something called a “spirit life review.” This is a process of transition where the soul let’s go of all the negative anger, grudges and regrets that were once experienced here on Earth. Just as your illness gets left behind, so do the burdens. Think about it: if everyone brought all their anger with them, how could it be Heaven and a place of peace? Part of the process involves letting go of all the heaviness so the next chapter can be enjoyed in peace and without illness. That is why your loved ones want to see you happy and enjoying life. They are not there to judge you; they are there to love and support you. When you first pass on, you do not enter Heaven alone. When you first make your way to Heaven, it is a big family reunion. Every friend you have ever made, every pet that has died and family member that you have loved are waiting to greet you in Heaven.
While your loved ones are being reunited and reconnected with loved ones and going through this life review, it may take them a bit to learn how to channel or reach you through a psychic medium. This does not mean they are not with you; it just means they are taking care of a few things first. It’s like when you move into a new apartment. You have to unpack the boxes before you can start having people over to enjoy their company. Another reason why they may not come through right away is because their message would not help you at the moment or it would cause you more grief. Your loved ones want to see you happy and living life. If they feel that a message will cause you to dwell on their passing and not be able to move forward, they will wait to come through when you are in a better place. Deep grief can sometimes act as a wall, preventing you and your loved ones from connecting. When you start to take steps to heal, you begin to feel and connect with your loved ones more and more.
So, how long should you wait before connecting with a loved one?
My advice is to wait a year. Not only will the message be stronger, but also you will be in a better place to hear the messages coming through. I personally feel it would be better to wait and get a good reading than to leave a session with unanswered questions or scratching your head trying to figure it out. If you can’t wait or if your intuition is telling you otherwise, try attending a group reading instead. You can find upcoming group reading by Clicking Here. You may hear from that special someone, or you may hear from someone else in spirit who was near and dear to you. Even if you don’t make a direct connection, you will walk away feeling inspired after witnessing the many other messages from spirits, and when the time is right, your loved one will come through with a very special message for you.
If you enjoyed this blog post I would like to invite you to join my “Email from Heaven” monthly newsletter by clicking HERE. Each month I will send you my newest blog posts, videos and also a free gift to your inbox. I hope that my emails help you on your spiritual journey and help you stay connected to those you love and miss in Heaven.
Responses
My Son just passed in July I desperately need to know if it was an accident.
Matt, since the death of my loved one whenever I leave my home, I see a large hawk. It is soon within minutes of my driving. It has begun so apparent that my one granddaughter remarked about it. My loved one has been gone for eight years. I now look for a hawk when I leave. I think I’m neurotic.
I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago. Married 58 years but together since I was 14. I ask him to come see me in my dreams, and he often does. Am I holding him back from moving forward? I am having a hard time coping with his absence. We have never been apart this long. I will hope to get a reading soon.
It’s been 21 years sence I lost my 17 year old son,I still long to have a sign from him.miss his dearly
22yrs. For me, Tommy was 18…. motorcycle accident, July 16th, 1996 I miss him every day too ?
Is my Danny ok? It will be 2 years October 5th. I miss him so much.
I lost my son on July 15th we were very close and I had not seen him in a year he was coming to see me. But was taken from me before he got to my house. I need to say goodbye
My brother committed suicide in April I can’t sleep eat or even function we are trying to find answers or to see if he is ok . I’m heart brotken and his children are a mess. Please help me.
A year ago, I lost both my sisters two months apart from each other. I need to know if they are together and are ok. Their deaths were so unexpected and it caused such a heartbreak in our family.
On August 25,2013 I lost my little brother. He was 17yaers young. Almost everyone believes it was suicide. My sister and I do not want to believe it. I don’t want to know I just want to understand why he felt so alone.
Why no man His own volition can be helped on it”s way. Heed Kenny”s advice.
I am afraid of wasting money so I have never taken action but my soul needs to know if we will be reunited when I leave this earth.
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was awesome. I don’t know who you are but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!
My husband Willy passed away 2 yrs this Dec , I miss him terribly. I just need to know he is ok and that he is with me.
I lost my beloved mother recently, 2nd August 2018 , though she was I’ll and bedridden I’m not able to stop my tears and missing her terribly. I’m from India.I have kept her lock of hair with me.That is the only physical possession of her,I have. Some people are warning me against it. I don’t know what to do. Can anyone help ?
my son a cat passed away september 5 2017 i miss him everyday i need to know if he knows how much i loved him
I lost my fiancee on February 6,2018 I want to know if he is at peace and if he knows I tried to save him and I’m sorry for letting him down and that I am still very much in love with him and I miss him and our 16 year old daughter misss him alot !
3 & a half years ago my son-in-law could not accept my daughter wanting to leave him ( he was very abusive). She hid but he tracked her down in the middle of the night and shot & killed her friend, shot my daughter in the head (she is alive & well now) then committed suicide. The friend who was murdered was only 23 and an only child. The guilt-grief I have for his family is unbearable and understandingly, they blame us (my daughter & me….not the murder’s family) How do I know Thad’s o.k.? He was a truly wonderful person.
Hi Matt, my name is Lisa I lost my husband on June 12th 2016, we were very close he was my best friend, He had congestive heart failure and diabetes. When he passed away I didn’t get any closure when he passed away. I just wanted to know if he was alright I still cry for him sometimes it is hard to let go of him but i don’t want to hold him back from going on. How do I know he has gone on and that he is watching over me and my Dad and his Parent’s and our Son? I know it was my husband John was his name, that tried to contact me about a month after he passed away one night I was in my Dad’s living room and I felt someone touch my right shoulder and also my Dad’s lights started flickering too I will never forget that night, it wasn’t raining or anything to make them flicker like they did, I really believe he was trying to contact me, it kind of startled me when that happen because I could not see him but felt it, anyway just wanted to know what you thought about it? Sincerely, Elizabeth Castello
Thank you Matt. Your words are always inspiring.
Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to
check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break.
I love the knowledge you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
How many spirits can come thru during a session? Do you have group sessions in md?
I am wanting to find out about my husband who passed away in 2014.. I have had no signs so I wanting to know if he is ok.
I lost my 16 year old daughter Nov 29th will be 2 year’s now do I get a reading done please
I lost my son in may of this year I would love to no if he is ok I miss him so much he was only 36 years old thank u?
My Mom died on March 18TH, 2015. She died due to cancer illness. I just want to found out how is she doing out there. I miss her….
This was very inspirational to read. I need to hear from my husband. It’s been almost 11 years and I still cry everyday. We were married 46 years and I miss him terribly
Hi my husband went on his journey 10/18/2016 I have been dealing with my grief would love to hear from my one and only true love don’t know if you can help
Hi Matt, I enjoy your blog. I lost my son on March 11, 2018 and still miss him every day. His truck rolled over on the highway and he was not wearing his seat belt and got ejected and the truck landed on him. I wake up as I am trying to push the truck off of him. I believe he likes messing with our electronics in the house. He did have a sense of humor. His life had been really sad leading up to his death, no drugs or anything like that. Just a really bad marriage. I am hoping he is finally happy and not fake happy anymore.
Hi matt its maryann i enjoy reading your blog .i do sit here after i read it with tears in my eyes. My husband passed suddenly on june 2017 day before fathers day. I miss him so much not a day passrs i dont think of him. After his passing i seen him twice. I would like a private reading please.
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