The first wave of grief…
As a medium, I look at death differently than most people. When I connect with souls on the other side it’s clear to me that while the dead may no longer be with us in a physical sense, their personalities and memories endure – and so does their love for the people they left behind. Because of that perspective, I don’t consider death to be an ending, but rather a transition to another state of being.
That being said, I absolutely understand how devastating it is to lose someone you love. It doesn’t matter if they were young or old when they passed, if they died suddenly or suffered for years. Death leaves a hole, an open wound that can block out the joy and happiness from your life.
When someone passes, you might go through a period of denial, but it doesn’t take long before you feel that first wave of grief, probably accompanied by loneliness, tears, and regret. Grieving is hard. Everyone who loses someone must go through the stages of grief in their own way. But it doesn’t have to be forever, and you can come out the other side stronger and with a new sense of purpose.
Healing Pain
When you break your arm, it hurts when the doctor sets the bone and continues to ache as the bones knit together. But with that pain comes healing. It’s the same thing with grief. The pain and loss you feel means you are moving toward healing.
Sometimes, all you want to do is hide from the pain, avoid memories of the person, and pretend nothing happened. I get it! But the steps you take in the grieving process are important if you want to feel better and make the most of your own precious time on this earth.
Having your broken arm set, wrapped in a cast, then wearing that clunky cast as a reminder of your injury is no fun. It’s hard to shower. You can’t exercise the way you’d like to. But you must go through those steps for your arm to heal, so you can be active and whole again.
The things that are hard to face can be the key to your recovery
Years ago, I had a woman attend one of my events. She was still stuck in a state of grief over her daughters passing, years earlier. After the tragic loss of her beloved daughter, she shut the door to the girl’s bedroom and never opened it again. After 12 years the door was still firmly shut, and everything in the room was exactly the same as it was the day her daughter died. Unfortunately, the mother’s grief was the same too. She was afraid to take the steps she needed to start processing her loss.
She refused to look at pictures, relive memories, or go through her daughters’ belongings because she was so afraid that the sadness would be too much for her to bear.
I talked to her and explained that as much as she wanted to avoid it, she needed to feel that pain to heal and eventually move on.
And while going through her daughters’ belongings would make her sad, it also would bring back all the memories and good times. As she looked at photographs and mementos, she would cry, but she would also smile, and remember her daughter – the way she had been in life. In that way, she would be reconnected with the soul of her daughter, and would finally be able to move on and find comfort.
Don’t hold onto your pain.
Healing pain is a breakthrough pain. It’s the anger and sense of loss that is released after the grief of a loved one. If you hold it in, you’re holding on to that anger, and that can make you feel depressed and hopeless. If you let out the tears, and talk about your loved one, visit places they loved, make their favorite recipes, play their favorite songs, you’ll feel them, and you’ll slowly start to feel better.
It’s not hopeless. Just like I am telling you that you must go through the hard process of grieving, I can assure tell you, without a doubt, that your loved one is not gone! They are with you, loving you and watching over you. And you can feel their presence if you open yourself up to those painful, beautiful memories of them, and your time together.
As you navigate through grief, it can help to experience proof of the afterlife. If you’re ready, I suggest attending one of my online reading events. You don’t even have to leave home! Even if you don’t get a reading, seeing other souls come through can give you a hope and comfort. Or check out my YouTube channel to watch some amazing messages from souls in Heaven.
Responses
having lost my 57 yo son with failing health issues his last year, I am having the most difficult time with the way he died.He choked on steak, heimlich maneuver not successful, and was rendered brain dead from lack of oxygen. I withdrew life support.
I’m having a very hard time with losing my mother on 6-21-21 to cancer just little over a month of being diagnosed then on 7-28-21 I lost my father to COVID-19 the 2 losses so close together was very difficult especially after my healing from my grandmother’s death on 11-22-15. So lost and lonesome.
Can you please help me tell why am I not getting pregnant
my brother lost his wife of 40 years to covid in Dec 2021 on her birthday. He says if he knew for a fact she was somewhere like heaven, he would be gone to be with her. His children are grown but need their dad. I do not know what to say to him.
Thank you Matt. I’m sorry for your losses Claudia and Claretta. If there’s a lesson to be learned, perhaps it’s that we humans must love one another and lift each other up. Though we experience grief differently, we are inescapably connected as humans, in that we must all go through it in some shape or form (unless you are a sociopath.)
Matt, with each person you interact with you are bringing the potential for positive change in this world.
Days before you published this, one of my soul and heart dogs (Alamo) suddenly transitioned. July 17th or 18th (resuscitation was involved so it’s unclear) my baby boy became a spirit. I’m on the “coming to terms” grief path, as well as addressing the trauma I went through, and you have been my leader. I’m coming to your show in Tampa and I’ve booked an online reading in November. The loss I’m experiencing is that of unconditional love. I’m figuring out how to keep that love “alive” while he’s on the other side; that divine energy flow that we shared when he was in physical form. Oh what a feeling. Like none I’ve ever experienced before, even with beloved human family members Thank you so much Matt for helping us earthlings keep the faith. Congratulations on your little boy.
My entire family has passed. My mother, father, two brothers (16 & 50), my two sisters at birth. Mom and dad departed four months apart 2017/2018 without much time to prepare. I am having a hard time dealing with the whole in my heart, missing the sound of their voices.
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