After a loved one passes, it is normal to want to speak with them right away. Death can leave you with a lonely feeling and a deep pain within your heart. As a psychic medium, I am in touch with souls every day. The most frequent question I am asked is, “My loved one just died. How long should I wait before connecting with a medium?”

The problem is, there is no definite answer on when a soul will come through. When you contact someone in Heaven, it is a request, not a command. It’s like calling someone here on Earth. How can you be sure they will pick up? I have done readings where souls have come through the same day, and there have been other times when it has taken up to one year for a loved one to come through with a message. Some souls take a little extra time. I personally have always asked my clients to wait one year before a reading. Firstly, this is because when I do a reading, I am not after a person’s money. Instead, I want to make sure I can 100% get in touch with the soul that has passed on, and more importantly, so I give them the best reading possible. My main goal is that my clients walk away feeling hopeful and uplifted knowing their loved one is ok.

The main ways I communicate with the departed is by seeing and hearing them. I have noticed that when I speak to a soul that has recently departed, although I can connect with them, the conversation is not as clear as it normally would be. I almost always know when I am channeling someone who recently has passed because it sounds like talking on a cell phone that is breaking up. I will start to hear bits of information, like their name and how they had died, and then I will hear silence. A few moments later, they may come through and start to tell me a message, after which there is more silence; the communication isn’t consistent. But then again, there have been those strange and sometimes awkward times when souls come through unusually early. One time, I was holding an event in Maine, when my eye caught a guest seated in the third row. He had a young man in spirit standing right behind him, and he was telling me his name was Kenny; they were best friends. I pointed to the gentleman in the audience and asked him to stand up. I said to him, “Did you lose your best friend? He just told me his name is Kenny.” The man turned white. He said, “Oh my God! I just came from his funeral before coming here today. He was laid to rest this morning!”

It just goes to show one thing: different souls channel in different ways. It is based on their personality and what they were like here in this world. For example, if you have a loud, vivacious Italian grandmother who was a busybody, it is likely she will come through and talk my ear off! On the other hand, if you had a father who was quiet, reserved and kept to himself, it is not likely that he will come through as strong or with as many messages. Normally, for spirits to come through loud and early, it is because there are urgent messages they need to deliver to their family ASAP. Think about it: for a soul to come through, their needs to be a message attached. They wouldn’t just come through and not say anything. What would be the point? They will, however, come through to bring their family comfort and closure or to assist them with any questions that have gone unanswered.

So, you might be thinking, why does it take a year sometimes for a loved one to come through?

The answer is simple. During that time, the departed goes through something called a “spirit life review.” This is a process of transition where the soul let’s go of all the negative anger, grudges and regrets that were once experienced here on Earth. Just as your illness gets left behind, so do the burdens. Think about it: if everyone brought all their anger with them, how could it be Heaven and a place of peace? Part of the process involves letting go of all the heaviness so the next chapter can be enjoyed in peace and without illness. That is why your loved ones want to see you happy and enjoying life. They are not there to judge you; they are there to love and support you. When you first pass on, you do not enter Heaven alone. When you first make your way to Heaven, it is a big family reunion. Every friend you have ever made, every pet that has died and family member that you have loved are waiting to greet you in Heaven.

While your loved ones are being reunited and reconnected with loved ones and going through this life review, it may take them a bit to learn how to channel or reach you through a psychic medium. This does not mean they are not with you; it just means they are taking care of a few things first. It’s like when you move into a new apartment. You have to unpack the boxes before you can start having people over to enjoy their company. Another reason why they may not come through right away is because their message would not help you at the moment or it would cause you more grief. Your loved ones want to see you happy and living life. If they feel that a message will cause you to dwell on their passing and not be able to move forward, they will wait to come through when you are in a better place. Deep grief can sometimes act as a wall, preventing you and your loved ones from connecting. When you start to take steps to heal, you begin to feel and connect with your loved ones more and more.

So, how long should you wait before connecting with a loved one?

My advice is to wait a year. Not only will the message be stronger, but also you will be in a better place to hear the messages coming through. I personally feel it would be better to wait and get a good reading than to leave a session with unanswered questions or scratching your head trying to figure it out. If you can’t wait or if your intuition is telling you otherwise, try attending a group reading instead. You can find upcoming group reading by Clicking Here. You may hear from that special someone, or you may hear from someone else in spirit who was near and dear to you. Even if you don’t make a direct connection, you will walk away feeling inspired after witnessing the many other messages from spirits, and when the time is right, your loved one will come through with a very special message for you.

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